It’s March of 2025, I work for a state government, and I feel incredibly uncertain about my future.
Will my agency be impacted? Will we see funding decreases? Will the people we serve be affected? Is DOGE coming for me and my state?
It has become nearly impossible to talk about anything without politics playing a major role in the conversation. Egg prices, culture, entertainment, and even workplace norms have become political. Whatever side of the political spectrum you find yourself on, it’s exhausting.
But it’s also very real. The impact of politics has never felt more real to me. Chalk some of that up to privilege and the fact that I came of voting age during the 2000 presidential election. Oh, right…
What can I do about these feelings of fear, uncertainty, anxiety, and trepidation? I honestly don’t know. I wish I had better answers, but they just aren’t there. I talk to friends, colleagues, and loved ones and I’m left feeling more and more exhausted.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to tell you to do. But here is what I am trying to do.
Writing.
I have always been a writer. I have written stories, blogs, and articles. I have written professional presentations and journal entries. I have written courses, training, policies and guidelines. I’ve written, but I’ve never written for me. In 2025, I’m writing about the things I say to groups I work with. I’m sharing the words from inside the room that seem to resonate with people. I’ve been referred to as my workplace’s therapist. I wear that badge with pride, while reminding them that actual therapists do critical and necessary work.
I started writing seriously a few years ago. I recently finished my first book and I’m currently shopping it to publishers. No responses yet, but that’s ok because I tried something new. My book may never see the light of day, but I still wrote it. I’m proud of it. I still accomplished that which I set out to do and that’s ok because it was something new.
Creating.
I never considered myself to be creative. I love music, reading, video games, and movies. I never had serious ambitions or abilities to be an artist, but I like to create. Creativity, my wife the artist, taught me, doesn’t require an audience. As I venture into writing on Medium, my most popular article has less than 15 reads.
That’s ok because I’m trying something new and I am learning. Medium has countless articles about writers who went from 0 to 10,000 readers in just three days. I read the articles because I want to grow my audience. I research search engine optimization because I want to learn how this works. In the end though, I want to create. I create music and scripts for my podcast, Born to Yap, Forced to Work (shameless plug). I write stories, articles, and some stuff that goes right in the trash. It’s all creating, and it gives me an outlet.
Journaling.
I use my journal as an outlet for my feelings but also as a barometer. Are things as bad as they seem? I might look back on this period and think of it as one of the best times in my life because it was the beginning of something. Maybe my writing takes off, my podcast goes viral, my book gets published. Anything of the three are possible. Yet I feel uncertain, afraid, and uneasy.
I use my journal to capture the little moments. I recently learned that I am returning to the office full time instead of enjoying my hybrid work schedule. My journal reflects many of my feelings around the order. It captures how my team and my family and friends feel. I may look back at these entries and marvel at how they shaped the changes and decisions I made in 2025. I don’t know anything, but that’s ok.
I have been journaling for ten years and when I look back over old journals, I’m always amazed at how they illustrate a specific period in my life. They unpack parenting, a divorce, job changes, grad school, my relationship with my wife, my friends, and my family. They are a wonderful and sometimes embarrassing and hard to read trip down memory lane. But that’s ok because at one point everything was something new.
Podcasting
This is my second attempt at podcasting. I love doing it. My wife, Molly, and I talk about all things ridiculous in our world of work and life. It mirrors my Medium writing and we tackle current trends and topics like return to office mandates, bathroom etiquette, and ways to goof off at work. It’s something we get to work on together and for what it’s worth, I think we do a pretty good job. That’s what both of our listeners tell us, anyway.
We went into this knowing it might not take off, that our first foray was not successful. But we had a blast doing it and don’t regret a single second of it. Our first podcast still makes me laugh and I will forever have those conversations to listen to. Much like journaling, the podcast helps me see my life through a funny little lens. My kids were on the podcast. They sound like totally different people now, but I have that conversation forever. Their little voices talking about what, at the time, was the most important thing they had going on. Distant memories now, but back then, it was something new.
Friends, I don’t have the answers. I don’t know how to feel better. All I know for sure is that I don’t want to feel like this any more. I’m writing. I’m creating. I’m journaling. I’m podcasting. I hope one of these ventures is successful enough that I’m no longer beholden to my workplace. Until that time, these feelings are all ok.
Because I’m trying something new.
What do you think? Comment below and let’s talk about it. You can also listen to my conversations on topics like this on my weekly podcast Born to Yap, Forced to Work (available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify).
I’m a workforce development, culture, and leadership coach who has a decade of experience helping to build amazing teams and leaders. If you’re interested in working with me, visit my website to learn more: Longview Collaborative.
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When Bad Feelings Lead to Trying Something New was originally published in Never Stop Writing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.