Category: Uncategorized

Why does work have to be so…work like?

A few years ago, after a particularly raucous and outlandish workshop, one of the participants approached the front of the room. I LOVE when people come to the front of the room after a workshop/session/class/presentation to chat me up. Sometimes the feedback is good, sometimes they have constructive criticism, but most often, they want to talk about the day. They want to share something they learned, something they were surprised by, or something they are excited to talk about moving forward.

My favorite comments are those that indicate I’ve broken some preconceived notion or defied some expectation (no matter how low). When people say things like “this was much better than I thought it was going to be” or “I wasn’t looking forward to this, but I had a lot of fun,” it absolutely makes my day. I like the idea that people look at me and immediately come to a conclusion about who I am, how I’m going to be, and what I’m going to be about. If only they knew how I’d look and dress if the oppressive societal norms that have shackled my inner punk for far too long were thrown off and into the trash heap of history where they belong.

But I digress.

On this day, the participant waited in a line of six people. He waited patiently and seemed to be in no hurry. He stood by casually as I talked with others who were there before him, an occasional smile would appear if he heard something he liked. When it was finally his turn, the big reveal:

“There’s a typo on one of your slides.”

And with that he was gone. He didn’t even tell me what slide it was. Here’s the wild part; I still don’t know what he was referring to. I have searched that presentation a million times. I have had friends and colleagues look at it. I use that presentation frequently and he is the only person to ever tell me there was a typo in it. This guy sat through a full workshop and then waited in a line to share this information. What did he see that no one else has been able to see?

I believe that he saw a typo.

While I would love to find this person and ask him where the typo is, I will likely never have that option. I believe both things can be true here. I believe there could be a typo and that there isn’t a typo. But Ryan, you might say, how can that be? They’re mutually exclusive things, it’s wrong or it isn’t. This is where it gets interesting.

It’s all about perspective.

The minute we start to think we have all the answers, we lose that perspective. Something in that man’s experience led him to believe something was wrong with my presentation. There’s an incredibly important question in all of this: where am I likely to learn more, by arguing that my presentation is in fact error-free OR through a conversation with him?

For starters, I would have the information I so desperately want about the location of the suspected typo. I would also likely learn something about this person, his perspective on things, and where he comes from. We might have made a network connection and we might even have become friends. And it would all start from a difference in perspective.

What’s punk about training?

I like to think of myself as the punk rock training guy because my approach is different from what came before me. I have never been a fan of the buttoned up, formal, well rehearsed style of presenting. Give me a microphone, a basic set of slides, and a topic. The juicier or more taboo the topic, the better. I like to get in the nitty gritty and the muck of work. Relationships are messy and work is no different. Let’s talk about it, get it out in the open, break it down, and make it better. I tell groups all the time that there are only three outcomes to any situation; things will get worse, things will stay the same, or things will get better. If we do nothing, two are likely. If we try something, things might get better. While better is certainly relative (there’s that pesky perspective again), I have found that teams can generally find some form of better they can agree on.

The punk ethos is something to behold. It’s anti-establishment, pro-human, and non-conformist. Punk is the middle finger to what existed before. Most importantly it uses music as a mechanism of change. It’s really hard to bring punk rock into a training or workshop. Believe me, I’ve tried.

I think it helps to understand what I’m listening to while I write this. I’m jamming to The Hives, specifically their 2023 album The Death of Randy Fitzsimmons. The song Countdown to Showdown has some great lyrics. “Got all the facts, got all the figures, but with all of them you disagree.” I love that.

While I shouldn’t be mistaken for someone who eschews data because it doesn’t align with my personal beliefs and opinions, there is something to be said for challenging what we know to be truth. In our challenge of truth, we find exploration and growth.

We are currently approaching the fifth anniversary of the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic (specifically in the United States). I was someone who followed all the guidance. I worked for a public health government agency, so that was probably a given. Most of us did what we could to lessen the horrible impact and perhaps even save a few lives along the way. Healthy skepticism is normal and natural but what happened during the pandemic went beyond that. People were outright hostile and abusive and it was wholly dependent on their views. Refuse to wear a mask, you’re a murderer. Wear a mask and you’re a bootlicking communist.

So where is the line between being a punk rocker who is challenging the status quo and someone who denies truth to the point of harm? I don’t have a great answer to that question. Honestly, that’s pretty punk rock; ask a big question as though I’m going to blow your mind and then bail like “yeah, I got nothing. Bye!”

For me, the line is what you want in the end. Is my goal to make you feel horrible and/or to attack your position? Is my goal to get in your face and try and beat you down with my words? Or is my goal to challenge a status quo that might be harming you and those around you?

I do that by asking tough questions and assuming nothing. I spend a lot of time talking to leaders who tell me all about the problems on their team. I have yet to have a leader tell me that they are the problem. I’ve had leaders hint that they might be part of the issue, but it’s almost always hidden in some way, like it’s not really me, it’s them. I work really hard at breaking that belief system. I don’t want leaders to take on responsibility for issues they didn’t cause, but we have to acknowledge our role in every relationship.

I have watched others try to do this type of work. Some are successful and some are not. The commonality between me and those who do this well lies in an unrelenting desire, almost a compulsion to get to the truth. We see and view things differently based on perspective, but there is always some level of truth. That thing we fundamentally know but also want to challenge.

Think of return-to-office mandates impacting office workers all across the country. The employee’s truth in remote and hybrid work is increased productivity, greater flexibility, and more control over their life. The employer’s truth in fully in office work is greater collaboration, innovation, and oversight. What is the actual truth? It depends. If I were brought in to find a resolution to this conflict, I would start by asking employees what they believe the employer’s truth to be and vice versa. When we start from our viewpoint of the other party’s perspective, we put ourselves in a place to listen and understand, even when we disagree. We won’t always find total agreement, but the goal is to find a way forward that everyone can live with and thrive within.

The punk mindset allows me to stay buoyant in a world where it’s so, so easy to sink into the status quo. Swimming upstream is hard and believe me, there are days when I want to trade in my dress-code-policy skirting attire for some nice pleated khakis, white dress shirt, ugly tie, and discount blazer to just go and do some old-school “training.” But I don’t, because the people I work with do important things. They’re world changers. I’m just some guy who gets people, but my friends and colleagues? They do the good work, the hard stuff that takes years to learn and decades to perfect.

Are you in need of someone with a punk mentality to help your teams gel, navigate conflict, and look for a better tomorrow? If so, visit our site below and learn how Longview Collaborative can help you and your team. Give us a try. If for no other reason than it could be really fun. Like Hives frontman “Howlin’” Pete Almqvist says, “All good rock music has an element of something ridiculous.” Why can’t the professional setting be the same way?

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Punk Rock Training Guy was originally published in Never Stop Writing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Have you ever felt disorganized?

I’ve been teaching colleagues and business professionals how to get and stay organized in a world where it’s harder and harder to keep track of everything we need to do and separate the lines between work and personal tasks. Like most, I find myself overwhelmed with the sheer number of tasks I need to do. Worse, my memory sucks, so relying on it is pointless. I’m also easily distracted. I really have a lot going for me.

Many of us face a common struggle. We have fifty lists in fifty different places, random notes from meetings scribbled on paper, on a sticky note, in a Word document, in OneNote or Google Keep, and on and on.

Perhaps you are thinking, “I know! I’ll get a journal! I see people using journals all the time and they seem super put together!” So you head to your favorite retailer or online shopping giant and choose the perfect book. The cover is a color you like, the pages are perfect for your writing style (too thin and the ink will bleed through, too thick and it’s like trying to write on a pair of Wranglers), and it has really cool ribbons so you’ll never lose your place. It’s perfect!

Once you have your beautiful new organizational cure-all and your favorite pen, you crack it open, ready to change your life…and those empty pages just stare back at you. What to write? Do you start with a simple list? Maybe some meeting notes? Maybe a traditional journal or diary entry? Riddled with indecision, you head to the internet. That’s where all the best answers are. You pop open your favorite search engine and type something like “journal ideas” or “starting an organizational journal.”

Whoops.

You are immediately confronted with thousands and thousands of images and ideas from people who must make a living by writing in their journals. They are beautifully artistic and creative, seemingly perfect in every way. Sure, the actual useful part of the page is only about two inches by two inches, but my God, it looks SO good!

Overwhelmed, you close your browser, set the journal aside and go right back to what you were doing before (see the opening paragraph).

What if I told you there was a better way? Below are five ways to get started on your organizational discovery.

Whether you are on top of everything in your life or more like me and it feels like there’s no way to keep all of these things straight, these steps will work for you.

1. Don’t fight your nature.

I see so many people try and force something that isn’t natural to them. If you hate analog tools, a journal is never going to work. If you’re a pen and paper person, OneNote, while a great tool, might not be your best choice. If you have a hybrid schedule and are working in multiple places, using separate methods for personal and work tasks might prove challenging.

Before you begin, think about what works for you and what doesn’t. Where are your current struggles? Do you write lists and then lose them? Do you over list, meaning you write down every single thing and end up with a list that’s four miles long? Do you write nothing down and then forget most of what you were supposed to do?

Be sure to include aspects that you like! This is really important. The more you like doing this, the more likely you are to do it! Be honest with yourself. Are you a doodler? Perhaps a journal might work where you can dedicate pages in the back to doodling while you listen to meetings, presentations, or calls.

2. Don’t try to mimic someone else.

This step is short and sweet. As I wrote about earlier, there are a million ways to do this. Don’t pigeonhole yourself by overcommitting to a method. The Bullet Journal method, for example, works great for a lot of people. I tried it and it didn’t work for me…entirely. This leads us to:

3. Mix and match your way to organizational glory!

Something you might notice about all of those beautiful journals that you see online is that they’re all a little different. The personal flair, the added artistic flourish, the clear indication of selfhood all bring something special to that person’s experience. Bring that to the process for yourself.

Whether your organizational tool is barebones and basic or looks like it should be in a museum, it MUST work for YOU. Maybe it’s a simple to-do list and notes pages in OneNote. Maybe it’s a legal pad with a running list. Whatever it is, it has to be unapologetically you.

You can also mix and match from different methods. The sticky note method, for example, can be used in multiple mediums. In this method, you write tasks on a sticky note. Once the tasks are done, you move the sticky note to another location, some form of a “done” box. You can do this in a journal by drawing squares or just simply sticking the notes in a big pile on a page. It’s great fun to go back to that page and look at all you’ve gotten done in a period. You can also do this in OneNote, Google Keep, ClickUp, or Trello. You can even do it right on your desktop. There’s no single right way to do this.

The Bullet Journal method mentioned above was developed in 2013 by Ryder Carroll and is one of the most popular organizational methods. You can learn about it by visiting his website, Bullet Journal. I tried this method, but it didn’t work for me. I love pieces of it, but my job at the time didn’t involve much long term planning. My current job involves lots of long term planning and the day-to-day things I need to keep track of. So I kept the parts of the method that worked and omitted the parts that didn’t.

I’m a journal guy. I love my journal. I love writing in it, I love looking at it, and I love how it helps me keep everything in one place. But I have a job where I have to keep track of A LOT. It’s complex and comes at me fast, it would simply be too difficult to write it all down by hand.

OneNote has entered the chat.

I use OneNote for specific purposes. Meeting notes, project notes, and 1:1 meetings with my team. I type fast, so I’m able to get it all down in real time, saving me from my poor memory. This allows me to have an accurate record of what was discussed that I can return to later. While I would love for everything to be in my journal, I had to adapt in my new position when, after two weeks, I had frantically filled over forty pages. Looking back, I can barely read some of it because I was writing so much so fast.

Speaking of adapting…

4. Adapt and change as your needs change.

We like our systems and our stability. It’s hard when things change. But modifying your organizational system as your environment or needs change is critical. I rely on OneNote far more now than I did before. It started when I was earning my MBA. I began using spiral notebooks because I love to write with pen and paper. But I was spending valuable class and learning time configuring pages, planning out where notes would go, stressing about leaving room for additional notes, should they be necessary, making sure it was all legible so I could review it when assignments or tests were on the horizon.

Yeesh.

OneNote allowed me the flexibility, speed, and modifications necessary to take the notes I needed to take. It allowed me to build assignment lists, keep track of what I had done and what I had yet to do.

For writing projects, I use the Google family of products. I write in Google Docs, track my work in Google Sheets, organize my life in Google Keep, and store photos in Google Photos. Having a sequestered workspace helps me stay organized and focused when I’m working. It also allows me to have a simple and organized file system so I can quickly and easily find what I need. I used to use the Apple office software for these needs, but found that while I really liked the software, it just didn’t work for me the way I needed it to.

For other projects, I use ClickUp. It’s a project management software that lets me see where tasks are, what tasks are upcoming, and most importantly, allows for collaboration with my partner. This drastically reduces the number of emails and messages that clog our inboxes and can easily be overlooked or ignored.

This might sound like a lot. Journal, OneNote, Google, ClickUp. It is. But each method has its place. OneNote for my 9–5. Google for writing. ClickUp for projects. Journaling is the catch-all where I can put all the tasks in a simple format. For example, my journal might have something like “Review Project X tasks in OneNote.” If I’m looking at my week or day ahead, I know that I’ll be spending my 9–5 workday on Project X without the need to have all the OneNote tasks in two places (trust me…don’t go down that road). When I’m writing, I’m only in the Google workspace so I’m only seeing the materials that exist there. It has really helped me avoid bleed through between projects.

My initial instincts were to force everything into one method. But it wasn’t working because the needs for the different ventures were too disparate. When I started building systems for the unique venture, my life became much easier and much less stressful.

5. Your system should REDUCE stress, not ADD stress.

So this isn’t so much a step as it is advice. If the system you have is stressing you out, then it’s probably not a great system. If you’re using a journal but constantly forget it, perhaps an electronic system might be better for you. If typing on a computer all day makes you want to throw it out the window, then maybe an analog method will help get your eyeballs away from the screen for a much needed break. Analog systems also force us to slow down. Research shows that writing things by hand creates a stronger memory connection to the content.

In our fast paced and ever changing world, we also have to be fast paced and ever changing. Finding an organizational system that works for you will help slow things down, keep the most important tasks front of mind, and let you manage your world instead of the other way around.

Interested in a deeper dive in making your to-do list work for you? Read my article: 5 Ways to Tada your To-Do!

What do you think? Comment below and let’s talk about it. You can also listen to my conversations on topics like this on my weekly podcast Born to Yap, Forced to Work (available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify).

I’m a workforce development, culture, and leadership coach who has a decade of experience helping to build amazing teams and leaders. If you’re interested in working with me, visit my website to learn more: Longview Collaborative.

Click this link to receive an email notification when I post a new Medium article: https://medium.com/@RyanCairneyWrites/subscribe.

BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/ryanwrites25.bsky.social

Ryan Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryancairneywrites/

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Overwhelmed by Organization? 5 Steps for Your Organizational Overhaul was originally published in Never Stop Writing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

“They’re cancelling the Arnold!”

The Arnold Fitness Expo, held each year at the Greater Columbus Convention Center in Ohio’s capital city draws thousands of spectators, exhibitors, vendors, and athletes. Our office building is a few blocks from the convention center and on Arnold days, the chatter was usually about traffic or difficulties getting in and out of work during the multi-day event.

But on March 3rd, in a joint press conference with Ohio Governor Mike DeWine and Columbus Mayor Andy Ginther, they announced that while the athletic events would be allowed to continue as planned, spectators would not be allowed. National Public Radio (NPR) featured stories from people who supported and those who disagreed with the decision. It would be a big hit for the city financially. The Arnold pumps more than $50 million into the local economy each year.

I worked for a public health agency, so COVID-19 was certainly on our radar. But my day-to-day work had little to do with infectious diseases so I wasn’t doing COVID related work (yet). Much of the documentation still referred to it as the 2019 Novel Coronavirus. I was getting most of my COVID-19 information from NPR on my daily commute to and from work. My memory is imperfect, but I recall stories of people on lockdown in China. I remember one person talking about difficulties getting food and other resources. It seemed so far away. So impossible. It was January of 2020 and I was busy with work and dealing with the post-Christmas blues.

It’s Coming

Throughout January, more news. More stories about 2019-nCoV and on January 10th, China reported their first death. Wuhan was placed on lockdown on January 23. 11 million people were now confined to their homes. More bad news would follow. The first case outside of China, suspected human-to-human transmission, travel advisories, the first US case, and quarantines for those potentially exposed to the virus.

On the final day of January, 2019-nCoV was declared a public health emergency in the United States of America by the Department of Health and Human Services.

In February, the first tests were approved and deployed, but they were plagued with inconsistent and unreliable results. We also learned of a terrifying new reality; asymptomatic spread. The virus was given its now ubiquitous moniker on February 11 by the World Health Organization (WHO). COVID-19 would be forever ingrained in the zeitgeist. By the close of February, Italy had become the second global hotspot for COVID-19 and on February 25, Dr. Nancy Messionnier, COVID-19 incident manager for the CDC, announced U.S. mitigation efforts, telling us “disruption to everyday life may be severe.”

Earlier in February, I facilitated a workshop for participants of my leadership development program. The group consisted of 15 people, some of the best and brightest the agency had to offer. This was a particularly good year for the program and I felt honored that I was working with some of the best minds in public health. As we gathered for that workshop in my small training room in the basement of our building, I saw exhaustion and defeat on all their faces. At the time, I was not doing work related to the outbreak and I was still relying primarily on news reports. COVID-19 had not come home for me yet. It still seemed far away. I knew most of this group had been working on 2019-nCoV.

“How is everyone doing?”

That question turned into a two-hour discussion. They were not doing well. We never touched on the planned topic for the day. Instead we talked, we shared fears, we worried, and we tried to plan.

On February 29, the CDC, alongside the Washington Department of Public Health, announced the “…first death in an individual with laboratory-confirmed COVID-19 in the U.S. The patient was a male in his 50s who was hospitalized with a pneumonia of unknown cause and later died of his illness.”

There were more unforgettable stories in early March including a stranded cruise ship and more states added to the list with confirmed cases. WHO declared COVID-19 a pandemic on March 11. The US declared it a nationwide emergency on March 13. On March 15, the New York City public school system closed all school buildings, impacting over one million students.

The pandemic hits home

One early March day, I don’t remember the date, I was scheduled to teach a class in the computer training room. It was a small room with 15 computers. I was probably teaching Excel. I arrived at the front door of the room to find it had been converted. There were phones installed at all the workstations and the room was full of people. Wires stretched across the floor and people were hanging large posters on the walls with basic information about COVID-19. I talked to one of the people in the room and he told me that my computer lab was going to be the COVID-19 Call Center.

A few days later, leadership asked me to review the training offered to the employees answering incoming calls. These were fantastic public health professionals, but they weren’t used to taking calls from the general public. There was so little information that they could share with any degree of medical accuracy. It was becoming clear that all hands were to be on deck and everyone, even my colleagues in human resources, would soon be doing pandemic response work. This video, of Ohio Governor DeWine visiting this early call center, before we moved to a more spacious and intentional call center, is a snapshot of that uncertain time. Eagle-eyed viewers might even find me (hint: look for “Ryan” on the back of the monitors around the 2:41 mark).

I’m incredibly proud of my work on the COVID-19 Call Center. It started the day I helped with the initial training. I’m not certain what I can and can’t talk about regarding my pandemic response work, but I know that I felt connected to my job in a way that I never had before. I felt like I was a small but important part of helping Ohioans. I worked through the initial days of the pandemic, through Omicron and the other variants, and well into the waning days of the worst parts of the crisis. It’s some of the best and most important work I’ve ever done.

Five Years Later

During the pandemic, I remember thinking that even with all of the political vollying, we would not forget the lessons learned. The political climate was just as toxic and awful as it is now. There were fist fights over masks, businesses refused to serve customers without masks and other businesses refused service to anyone wearing one. People fought about vaccines and gatherings. Politicians gave confusing and contradictory guidance. What could have been a unifying moment of triumph for humanity became a boring and unnecessary political debate resembling children throwing tantrums.

It became clear as we progressed that many would forget or ignore the lessons learned. My hope that people who had symptoms of illness would wear masks in public to help prevent the spread of everything from the common cold to COVID-19 vanished as I sat in a doctor’s office and watched in horror as grown adults coughed and sneezed without even attempting to cover their mouth or nose.

Many of us moved to telework and hybrid work models to avoid spreading disease. As a result, we realized that part of the workforce could complete their work with flexible work options at considerable savings to their employers. Work from home, work from anywhere, and flexible schedules became popular as unemployment was low and employers were eager to attract talent in a market where employees had options. It seemed like we had reached a new era in work with market changes on the levels of workplace reform in the mid 20th century.

Yet it became clear that as the markets shifted, so did employer’s thirst for restored control. Return to office mandates from some of the largest employers in the country seemed to be hitting the news every week. The federal government and several state governments would soon follow suit. Gone were the days of the dynamic workplace, replaced by an authoritarian return to a structure that seems so outdated now.

Moving forward together.

It’s not too late for us to learn the lessons of the once-in-a-century pandemic. There is still time for us to recognize what we have seemingly forgotten. We can still be kind to our fellow humans, despite our differences. We can still look around for opportunities to recognize someone in need. We can still be cognizant of others by doing little things like covering our mouths when we cough or wearing a mask when we are sick. If we normalize behaviors without making a political statement, we make it far easier for others who might disagree with us.

We all occupy this fragile blue marble and our time on it is incredibly short. In this increasingly hostile political environment, it’s more important than ever that we think about what truly matters to us. Is it the argument on Reddit or is it maximizing time doing what you love? Is it tying your entire identity to a politician or party or is it about creating and sharing what makes you unique and beautiful? When you look back on your time here, how do you want to have spent it? What do you want those who love you to remember most about you?

What do you think? Let’s talk about it.

Comment below and let’s talk about it. You can also listen to my conversations on topics like this on my weekly podcast Born to Yap, Forced to Work (available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify).

I’m a workforce development, culture, and leadership coach who has a decade of experience helping to build amazing teams and leaders. If you’re interested in working with me, visit my website to learn more: Longview Collaborative.

Click this link to receive an email notification when I post a new Medium article: https://medium.com/@RyanCairneyWrites/subscribe.

BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/ryanwrites25.bsky.social

Ryan Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryancairneywrites/

Sources:

CDC Museum COVID-19 Timeline: https://www.cdc.gov/museum/timeline/covid19.html

When Did the Pandemic Start and End: https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/medical-advances/new-therapies-and-drug-trials/covid-19-pandemic-timeline

Columbus Arnold Sports Festival partially cancelled due to coronavirus fears: https://www.cleveland.com/open/2020/03/columbus-arnold-sports-festival-partially-canceled-due-to-coronavirus-fears.html

Early Warning Behind the ‘Gut Wrenching’ Decision to Cancel The Arnold Fitness Expo: https://www.wosu.org/news/2020-05-13/early-warning-behind-the-gut-wrenching-decision-to-cancel-the-arnold-fitness-expo

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COVID-19: Lessons Learned and Forgotten Five Years Later was originally published in Never Stop Writing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

April 7, 2024, Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse, Cleveland, Ohio. The Iowa Hawkeyes women’s basketball team took the court to try and win a national championship, the first in school history.

This was familiar territory for the team. The location was different, but the stakes were the same on April 2, 2023. On that date the Hawkeyes fell to Angle Reese and the scrappy Louisiana State University (LSU) Tigers in the title game.

The 2023 game had several controversies and memorable moments. In the third quarter and as Iowa was mounting a comeback, Caitlin Clark was issued a technical foul for swåatting or slapping the ball back to the referee, putting her in foul trouble and impacting how aggressive she could be for the rest of the game. Following the game, Angel Reese, an amazing player and future WNBA star, memorably stalked Caitlin around the court, motioning to her ring finger, leading to speculation of a heated rivalry between the players. The truth was that both Clark and Reese are fierce and fiery competitors. Clark, no stranger to trash talking and on-the-court gestures to the competition, confirmed as much in the weeks following the game.

Caitlin Clark and the rest of the Iowa team, coached by the legendary Lisa Bluder, hoped the 2024 game would have a different outcome. They were set to face the South Carolina Gamecocks, the 2022 national champions, coached by the one and only Dawn Staley. Iowa had defeated the Gamecocks in 2023 on their way to that fateful showdown with LSU.

Iowa started the game fast, scoring at will in the opening moments. Iowa led by seven at the end of the first quarter, with Clark scoring 18 of the team’s 27 points, an NCAA record. The Gamecocks rebounded in the second quarter, taking the lead into halftime. They built on their lead in the third quarter, outscoring Iowa 19–13. In the fourth and final quarter of Caitlin Clark’s collegiate career, the Hawkeyes got within five points before South Carolina went on a seven point run, ending the game with the lead and the championship.

The Iowa Hawkeyes would finish as runners up for the second year in a row.

With Caitlin Clark and Kate Martin heading to the WNBA and senior stars Gabbie Marshall, Molly Davis, and Sharon Goodman on the way out, the team would look much different for the 2024/25 season. Then came the news that coach Lisa Bluder would be retiring after 24 years as the head coach.

Four starters, including the greatest athlete to ever take the floor in Caitlin Clark, and the head coach would all be gone. What would the Iowa Hawkeyes do if they were to try and maintain this level of success?

The Iowa Hawkeyes were not perennial favorites like LSU and South Carolina. But they had been steadily improving in the decade leading to the back-to-back national title appearances. Superstar Megan Gustafson played all four college years for Bluder, winning the Big Ten Tournament and advancing to the Elite Eight in the NCAA tournament in 2019. But their 2023 Final Four appearance was their first in over thirty years.

The Iowa team would need to rebuild, strengthen where it could and bring in new players and a new coach. Jan Jensen, who spent more than two decades as Bluder’s assistant coach, would be handed the reins as head coach. Lucy Olsen, an incredible player, transferred from Villanova to spend her final year of eligibility in Iowa City. Standouts Hannah Stuelke, Synder Affolter, Addison O’Grady, Taylor McCabe, and Kylie Feuerbach would all return and start. Players like Aaliyah Guyton, Taylor Stremlow, and Ava Heiden would round out the team. Coach Jensen had the pieces in place. Would the team make their way back to the national championship?

The Hawkeyes started the 2024/25 campaign by winning their first eight games before falling to top-25 ranked Tennessee on December 7, 2024. The Hawkeyes played well all season long and no opponent beat them by more than ten points in the regular season. They upset second-ranked University of Southern California (USC), led by the fantastic Juju Watkins on February 2, 2025 and had an amazing road comeback against Ohio State University after trailing by double digits late in the fourth quarter before falling to the Buckeyes in overtime. The Hawkeyes entered the Big Ten Tournament on a roll and won their first two games against Wisconsin and Michigan State, respectively. Ultimately, the Hawkeyes fell to the Buckeyes in the quarterfinal round of the tournament.

The game was decided by one point.

With the Big Ten Tournament in the rearview mirror and the NCAA Tournament selection looming, the Hawkeyes still have a chance to finish the season on their terms. So what does all of this basketball have to do with managing talent?

It’s simple, really. There will be times when we have great talent around us. There might even be times when we ARE the great talent. The thing you’ll notice about great teams though is that they have more than one talented player. Michael Jordan famously did not win an NBA Finals until Scottie Pippen joined the team and even then it took several seasons. Jordan’s rookie season was in 1984, Pippen’s in 1987. Their first NBA championship came in 1991.

Building a great team takes time. Even with Caitlin Clark, it took time to reach the top. In 2022, the Hawkeyes fell to Creighton University in the second round of the NCAA tournament, Clark’s sophomore year. Clark elevated the Iowa Hawkeyes to another level. But the team does not stop following her graduation from the University of Iowa’s Tippie College of Business.

No team can rely on one person. Caitlin Clark played with Kate Martin and Gabbie Marshall, two outstanding players in their own right. Monica Czinano was such a rock for Clark that analyst Christy Winters-Scott started referring to them as “The Law Firm of Clark and Czinano,” referring to their fantastic partnership on the court. Soon fans could be spotted in the stands wearing shirts with the phrase, made possible by Iowa City retail staple RayGun. Clark is a next-level, generational, one-in-a-lifetime talent. But she was part of a team in southeast Iowa.

We cannot stop growing and improving our teams when we lose top talent. Caitlin Clark is one of the team’s strongest supporters, appearing at multiple games during the regular season. Clark was seated in the front row of the Gainbridge Fieldhouse (home court to Clark’s WNBA team the Indiana Fever) to cheer on her alma mater throughout the Big Ten Tournament. Clark wants the team to succeed.

Jan Jensen and the rest of the Iowa coaching staff, the students of the university, the alumni (of which I am a proud member — Go Hawks!), and all the fans were delighted by the four years we had with Caitlin Clark. But as her #22 jersey now hangs forever in Carver-Hawkeye Arena in the best city on earth, the show goes on. We might need to level set and redefine what success looks like. Only one team can be champion, but many teams have great seasons and achieve success.

And so it must be for you and your team. When we have the opportunity to exist with great talent, we must embrace and enjoy it! But when that talent inevitably moves on, for whatever reason, we have to look down the bench and ask one simple question…

“Who’s next?”

What do you think? Comment below and let’s talk about it. You can also listen to my conversations on topics like this on my weekly podcast Born to Yap, Forced to Work (available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify).

I’m a workforce development, culture, and leadership coach who has a decade of experience helping to build amazing teams and leaders. If you’re interested in working with me, visit my website to learn more: Longview Collaborative.

Click this link to receive an email notification when I post a new Medium article: https://medium.com/@RyanCairneyWrites/subscribe.

BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/ryanwrites25.bsky.social

Ryan Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryancairneywrites/

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What Iowa Women’s Basketball Can Teach Us About Talent Management was originally published in Never Stop Writing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

It’s March of 2025, I work for a state government, and I feel incredibly uncertain about my future.

Will my agency be impacted? Will we see funding decreases? Will the people we serve be affected? Is DOGE coming for me and my state?

It has become nearly impossible to talk about anything without politics playing a major role in the conversation. Egg prices, culture, entertainment, and even workplace norms have become political. Whatever side of the political spectrum you find yourself on, it’s exhausting.

But it’s also very real. The impact of politics has never felt more real to me. Chalk some of that up to privilege and the fact that I came of voting age during the 2000 presidential election. Oh, right…

What can I do about these feelings of fear, uncertainty, anxiety, and trepidation? I honestly don’t know. I wish I had better answers, but they just aren’t there. I talk to friends, colleagues, and loved ones and I’m left feeling more and more exhausted.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to tell you to do. But here is what I am trying to do.

Writing.

I have always been a writer. I have written stories, blogs, and articles. I have written professional presentations and journal entries. I have written courses, training, policies and guidelines. I’ve written, but I’ve never written for me. In 2025, I’m writing about the things I say to groups I work with. I’m sharing the words from inside the room that seem to resonate with people. I’ve been referred to as my workplace’s therapist. I wear that badge with pride, while reminding them that actual therapists do critical and necessary work.

I started writing seriously a few years ago. I recently finished my first book and I’m currently shopping it to publishers. No responses yet, but that’s ok because I tried something new. My book may never see the light of day, but I still wrote it. I’m proud of it. I still accomplished that which I set out to do and that’s ok because it was something new.

Creating.

I never considered myself to be creative. I love music, reading, video games, and movies. I never had serious ambitions or abilities to be an artist, but I like to create. Creativity, my wife the artist, taught me, doesn’t require an audience. As I venture into writing on Medium, my most popular article has less than 15 reads.

That’s ok because I’m trying something new and I am learning. Medium has countless articles about writers who went from 0 to 10,000 readers in just three days. I read the articles because I want to grow my audience. I research search engine optimization because I want to learn how this works. In the end though, I want to create. I create music and scripts for my podcast, Born to Yap, Forced to Work (shameless plug). I write stories, articles, and some stuff that goes right in the trash. It’s all creating, and it gives me an outlet.

Journaling.

I use my journal as an outlet for my feelings but also as a barometer. Are things as bad as they seem? I might look back on this period and think of it as one of the best times in my life because it was the beginning of something. Maybe my writing takes off, my podcast goes viral, my book gets published. Anything of the three are possible. Yet I feel uncertain, afraid, and uneasy.

I use my journal to capture the little moments. I recently learned that I am returning to the office full time instead of enjoying my hybrid work schedule. My journal reflects many of my feelings around the order. It captures how my team and my family and friends feel. I may look back at these entries and marvel at how they shaped the changes and decisions I made in 2025. I don’t know anything, but that’s ok.

I have been journaling for ten years and when I look back over old journals, I’m always amazed at how they illustrate a specific period in my life. They unpack parenting, a divorce, job changes, grad school, my relationship with my wife, my friends, and my family. They are a wonderful and sometimes embarrassing and hard to read trip down memory lane. But that’s ok because at one point everything was something new.

Podcasting

This is my second attempt at podcasting. I love doing it. My wife, Molly, and I talk about all things ridiculous in our world of work and life. It mirrors my Medium writing and we tackle current trends and topics like return to office mandates, bathroom etiquette, and ways to goof off at work. It’s something we get to work on together and for what it’s worth, I think we do a pretty good job. That’s what both of our listeners tell us, anyway.

We went into this knowing it might not take off, that our first foray was not successful. But we had a blast doing it and don’t regret a single second of it. Our first podcast still makes me laugh and I will forever have those conversations to listen to. Much like journaling, the podcast helps me see my life through a funny little lens. My kids were on the podcast. They sound like totally different people now, but I have that conversation forever. Their little voices talking about what, at the time, was the most important thing they had going on. Distant memories now, but back then, it was something new.

Friends, I don’t have the answers. I don’t know how to feel better. All I know for sure is that I don’t want to feel like this any more. I’m writing. I’m creating. I’m journaling. I’m podcasting. I hope one of these ventures is successful enough that I’m no longer beholden to my workplace. Until that time, these feelings are all ok.

Because I’m trying something new.

What do you think? Comment below and let’s talk about it. You can also listen to my conversations on topics like this on my weekly podcast Born to Yap, Forced to Work (available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify).

I’m a workforce development, culture, and leadership coach who has a decade of experience helping to build amazing teams and leaders. If you’re interested in working with me, visit my website to learn more: Longview Collaborative.

Click this link to receive an email notification when I post a new Medium article: https://medium.com/@RyanCairneyWrites/subscribe.

BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/ryanwrites25.bsky.social

Ryan Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryancairneywrites/

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When Bad Feelings Lead to Trying Something New was originally published in Never Stop Writing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Some Things You Can’t Mandate

Return-to-office mandates are nothing new. They’ve been happening since the early days of the pandemic. For those lucky enough to be in remote or hybrid work arrangements, each announcement undoubtedly sends a wave of a panic through your body. I know that’s how it was for me as a hybrid employee.

Then the RTO mandate came for me.

It was a total gut punch. Why now? Where is the data supporting this move? We’ve been touting the great success that is our hybrid model for years! We have data to back its effectiveness! This sucks!

At the end of the day, I work where I work, the job market isn’t what it was a few short years ago, and I, like many, have to carefully weigh my options. I’m not happy about a full return to downtown office life in a city that quite simply cannot handle the number of people it’s leaders want here during the week. Scrambling for parking, leaving for work more than an hour before my day starts because of traffic, parking expense and scarcity, the sheer time it takes to get to my skyscraper office building, wait on elevators that always seem to be in some state of disrepair, and then get to my grey, drab office is awful. All of that to then repeat the cycle in reverse at the end of the day. It’s madness. But the overlords have spoken and thus, here we are.

So now what?

Leaders have the power in the employee/employer relationship and always have. Sure, blips on the radar make it seem like things may be shifting. Remember quiet quitting? Remember when it seemed like employees could force remote work because employers were so desperate for talent? Ah, days gone by. But in the end, it always comes back to who holds the purse strings.

Like it or not, we are at the mercy of cruel feckless thugs, spineless bureaucrats who would run over their own mothers if it meant a 0.01% increase in profits, politicians who cave to the will of an infantile tyrant, and companies that see us as nothing more than easily replaceable cogs in the machine.

Ok, so that seems glum. Chalk it up to me knowing I have two weeks left of my hybrid arrangement. It may seem and feel glum for many of us. But we might be able to effect change from the inside. We may be able to help change the culture.

Leaders ultimately need employees to be happy and productive.

Even the seemingly immune-to-feelings Jamie Dimon issued a bit of a recanting this week following his anti-everything tirade during an all staff meeting. The backlash to his comments was immediate. Following the JPMorgan Chase RTO mandate, things were so bad the company had to disable its internal message boards.

People like Jamie Dimon are quick to say something like “if you don’t like it here, find the door.” They want you to feel like you are replaceable. Powerless. Stuck. But they also want (and need) you to feel motivated to perform. Some do this with power, some do it with leverage, some do it with motivation.

It’s all about positioning and power. Jobs aren’t as plentiful now, so you’re seeing employers flex their muscles. Notice how the biggest wave of RTO mandates has come during a time when the job market isn’t nearly as hot? That’s not an accident. At the same time, leaders might be a little more willing to listen on matters of culture now, given the way people feel about returning to a full-time in-office schedule.

A new ping-pong table isn’t culture.

Here is a short list of things that AREN’T culture: ping-pong tables, free snacks, flexible schedules, rules for meetings, casual Friday (catch me later on dress codes, I have some hot takes).

None of the above items represent culture. And yet, they do.

Conversations about the employee experience while in the office focused more on what the employer can do for the employee to help them enjoy their time at work. Happy employees tend to be more productive, stay with companies longer, and build stronger work relationships.

So why aren’t the items listed at the top of this article culture? Because they’re add-ons, features, and benefits. No one is accepting a job because you have a ping-pong table. But lots of people might be delighted to work for you if your culture is good. Good culture can mean different things based on a number of factors like industry, geographical location, diversity of the workforce, and the size of the organization. It’s far easier for the CEO of a 50 person company to have their finger on the pulse when compared to the CEO of a company with 5,000 employees.

Making culture even more complicated, you have five generations in the workplace:

Baby Boomers. Born between 1946 and 1964. Broken into two distinct groups, Golden/Early Boomers (194–1954) and the Hippies (1956–1964).

Generation X. Born between 1965 and 1976).

Xennials (look it up…). Born between 1977 and 1983.

Millennials. Born between 1984 and 1996.

GenZ. Born between 1997 and 2012.

Think about that for a second…it would not be uncommon to have someone aged 65 (born in 1959) in the same office as someone aged 25 (born in 1999). There are three generations BETWEEN these two colleagues. How on earth do you address culture when you have five distinctly different generations with varying ideas of what it even means to work?

The answer is frustratingly simple; communication and empathy.

Employees are often willing to tell leaders exactly what they need to know to create a great culture. Leaders I work with often complain that culture is too difficult to manage because people are so different. It’s a valid concern. However, challenging doesn’t mean impossible or ignorable.

Leaders need to be thoughtful about what their employee experience is. For example, I have completely overhauled/am in the process of overhauling the orientation experience at two different agencies. At first, I didn’t get everything I wanted, but I got a lot of it. I harped on my HR colleagues, told them we needed to make it great. We can’t just check things off a list. That’s no way to create a truly great experience for someone.

We have to consider all the “touch points.” This is a phrase I learned when I attended one of the best professional development programs of my entire life — the Disney Institute. Love Disney or not, their customer service development programs are best in class. There’s a reason major retailers like Target adopted the Disney philosophy decades ago. Ever wonder why Target calls customers “guests?”

Touch points are everything someone encounters. When I worked in a museum this meant the website, phone, parking lot, entrances, front desk, museum floor, experiences, staff, restrooms, vending machines, temperature, and even the trash cans. Literally anything a visitor/guest/customer encounters, interacts with, or experiences, is a touch point. And ALL of them must be considered and accounted for if the experience is to be truly great.

Office life is no different! How long would it take for employees to complain if the restrooms were dirty? If the internet didn’t work consistently? If the elevators were broken, causing delays in moving around the building? Leadership responsiveness to employee concerns can make or break the sense of culture.

The disconnect.

There’s often a disconnect between what leadership thinks is culture and what employees see as culture. Look no further than the space we work in. When was the last time your leaders (or you if you are a leader) toured the work area of employees and gave honest consideration to what employees experience on a daily basis? What is the temperature, how comfortable are the chairs, is the open floor plan or walled offices conducive to the type of work being done? What is the general condition of the workspace? Would the leader want to work in this space?

Showing empathy and consideration for employees, their work and their environment is the foundation of good culture. Without a thorough and honest evaluation of all the touch points, no leader can hope to build a great culture. Any effort at creating or changing the culture will seem superficial at best and cruel at worst. And if you want to get a ping-pong table, go for it!

Just remember you need to do a whole lot more.

What do you think? Comment below and let’s talk about it. You can also listen to my conversations on topics like this on my weekly podcast Born to Yap, Forced to Work (available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify).

I’m a workforce development, culture, and leadership coach who has a decade of experience helping to build amazing teams and leaders. If you’re interested in working with me, visit my website to learn more: Longview Collaborative.

Click this link to receive an email notification when I post a new Medium article: https://medium.com/@RyanCairneyWrites/subscribe.

Why You Need to Change

Monday, January 20th, marked the inauguration of Donald J. Trump as the 47th president of the United States of America.

The sentence above likely triggered one of three (admittedly simplified) reactions:

• “I’m happy! I’m excited about the next four years!”
• “I’m not happy. I’m very worried about the next four years.”
• “I don’t care.”

Regardless of where you fall politically, reactions to political events can provoke strong emotional responses. Following the 2024 presidential election, stories emerged about distraught individuals across the nation, fearful of what a second Trump presidency might bring. Their concerns were understandable. Donald Trump presented a vastly different vision for America than his predecessor, Joe Biden, and his ultimate presidential opponent, Kamala Harris.

Conversely, there were also those who celebrated Trump’s victory. They saw it as an opportunity for him to finish what he started in his first term and further a conservative agenda. Some even felt vindicated, never believing he had truly lost the 2020 election to Biden.

This article isn’t about politics. Rather, it’s about how the political landscape and recent events highlight an important issue: we are inundated with emotional triggers, and unless we learn to manage them, they will continue to dominate our mental and physical well-being.

Everyone Needs a Reset

Emotionally charged situations may seem purely psychological, but they also impact physical health. Research has linked chronic stress to conditions such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and weakened immune function. It has also been shown to shrink brain tissue in areas responsible for emotional regulation and self-control, decreasing an individual’s ability to cope with adversity (How Emotions Impact Your Well-Being, Live Well Optum).

Think about that for a moment —

Chronic stress shrinks your brain!

Additionally, chronic stress and intense emotional reactions can impair memory and other cognitive functions. The science is clear: ongoing stress is harmful to both mental and physical health. But in a world where it’s nearly impossible to turn off these stress-inducing inputs, what can we do?

Understand Your Perspective

Gaining perspective helps us see things as they truly are. In an isolated view, everything feels either overwhelmingly good or devastatingly bad. However, reality is far more complex.

For example, consider the wildfires that often ravage California. If you closely follow the news, you’ll read heartbreaking stories of people losing their homes, businesses, and even their lives. Consumed by these reports, you might feel depressed, anxious, or helpless — compounding your stress.

Here’s where perspective is crucial. Are you truly helpless? Could you donate time, money, or resources to relief efforts? Can you contribute to your local community in another way while resources are allocated to the fires? Taking proactive steps fosters resilience and provides a sense of control (Staying Positive During Difficult Times, Harvard Health Publishing).

The same principle applies to good events. Often, when we experience joy, we worry about its eventual end. We fear losing something valuable, wasting time in anxiety instead of savoring the moment. In extreme cases, we even create self-fulfilling prophecies, inadvertently bringing about our own loss. Awareness of our perspective helps us see things more clearly, understand our role in the world, and ultimately, feel more balanced.

Don’t Create Moving Spikes

I coined this metaphor while running with my wife, Molly. She is pragmatic and brilliant, but that day, she was overwhelmed with worry about hypothetical problems that had no basis in reality.

I immediately pictured Super Mario Bros. — a classic video game where the character Mario navigates levels filled with obstacles. Each level contains bottomless pits; if Mario falls in, the player loses a life.

That’s already a challenge. But Molly was envisioning additional obstacles — imaginary moving spikes emerging from the pits. These spikes didn’t exist in the game, yet she was treating them as inevitable threats.

We all create moving spikes.

Sometimes, anticipating problems is necessary. But are we being realistic about what issues might actually arise? What’s the probability of the worst-case scenario happening? If it’s low, we risk exhausting ourselves over imaginary threats.

Focus on the problem in front of you. Deal with future concerns later. This approach reduces mental exhaustion and helps you maintain a clearer perspective.

Own Your Involvement

Doomscrolling — the act of endlessly scrolling through negative content — keeps us locked in a cycle of stress and outrage. Whether you’re consuming news about a politician you despise or one you admire, social media algorithms are designed to keep you engaged (i.e., emotionally reactive) and scrolling. A 2021 Yale University study found that online networks amplify moral outrage because such expressions receive more engagement than other interactions (Social Media Makes Us Angrier, CORDIS).

Doomscrolling also delivers a dopamine hit, reinforcing addictive behavior. Dr. Courtney Batt, an adolescent medicine expert, explains that doomscrolling triggers dopamine release, much like other addictive behaviors (Doomscrolling: Breaking the Habit, University Hospitals).

Its effects on mental health are serious:

• Worsening depression and anxiety
• Reinforcing negative thought patterns
• Disrupting sleep
• Increasing stress hormones

To break the cycle, recognize your role in consuming this content. Choose healthier ways to engage with the world.

How to Reset

Everyone needs a way to reset. There is no universal solution, but you likely already know what helps you relax. Here are some ideas to try:

• Disconnect. Turn off your phone and step away from content. Even a short break can refresh your mind and reduce stress.
• Take a social media break. Many platforms allow you to temporarily deactivate your account without losing content. Even celebrities publicly step away from social media for their mental health — it’s a proven strategy.
• Do something you enjoy. Most people don’t spend too much time on activities they love. Whether it’s being outdoors, cooking, reading, or talking to a friend, make time for what brings you joy.
• Exercise. Even if you don’t love working out, moving your body improves mental and physical well-being. Take a walk, stretch, or do light yoga. Compare how you feel afterward versus after doomscrolling — you’ll notice the difference.

Social media and the internet are powerful, seductive tools. It’s easy to fall into negative behavioral patterns with online content. Following the steps above can help you avoid chronic stress, frustration, and fatigue, preventing the long-term consequences of repeated emotional overload. Now, put down your device and go do something you enjoy!

If you or someone you know needs support with doomscrolling or online addiction, visit crisistestline.org. This resource offers text, chat, and message options, as well as information about the effects of doomscrolling on mental health.

What do you think? Comment below and let’s talk about it. You can also listen to my conversations on topics like this on my weekly podcast Born to Yap, Forced to Work (available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify).

I’m a workforce development, culture, and leadership coach who has a decade of experience helping to build amazing teams and leaders. If you’re interested in working with me, visit my website to learn more: Longview Collaborative.

Click this link to receive an email notification when I post a new Medium article: https://medium.com/@RyanCairneyWrites/subscribe.

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Internet Anger and Your Shrinking Brain was originally published in Never Stop Writing on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Manage your face.

Leave your emotions at the doorstep.

There’s no place for that here.

You’re too emotional.

You can’t let stress get to you.

God, you’re so sensitive!

I have had all of these things said to me and did not feel good about any of them. I don’t think of myself as a person who has zero control of my emotions. But I’m also not afraid to express myself emotionally. Does this mean I’m constantly crying at work, having outbursts, complaining, or shouting? Of course not. But I also feel like it is sometimes appropriate to express irritation, disagreement, or even anger.

Why? Because life is stressful!

It can feel like there is a never ending stream of inputs. Political news, changes at work, personal life, the endlessly packed calendar, and then there are all of the unplanned issues and events that arise. It can often feel like it’s just enough to push you over the edge. Death by a thousand papercuts.

Take that metaphor seriously for a moment. Imagine a papercut on your hand. It’s a slight annoyance that can be pretty easily addressed with some medicine or just a little time to heal. Now imagine 1,000 papercuts all over your body. The inescapable burning, irritation, tiny bleeds, and the knowledge that you can’t address all of the papercuts at the same time.

What is the mental equivalent of that? When we feel like our brains are on fire, there are too many inputs, we feel like we are losing control of everything around us, and the stress is seemingly or actually overwhelming. It’s bad enough for our mental health, but is it bad for us physically?

I don’t know. So I went searching for the answer.

Dr. Safia Debar, a Mayo Clinic stress management expert tells us that “healthy stress levels help build resilience.” Ok, that makes sense. As parents we try to help our kids build coping skills. We remind them that uncomfortable does not mean unsafe. It seems sensible then that we as adults should continue to develop these same skills and stressors would help us do that.

Dr. Debar notes that when we successfully deal with a stressful situation, we are better prepared the next time a similarly stressful event happens. Our body “shifts to a repair, renew and growth state as the stress response is mopped up.”

The problems happen when your body isn’t able to recover from either the stress input or the number of stress inputs that you experience. In another article from the Mayo Clinic, we are told that “chronic stress can wreak havoc on your mind and body.”

That seems bad.

We can experience bad stress reactions and they can lead to mental and physical symptoms from depression and anxiety to sleeping problems, weight gain, and even heart disease.

In my research for this article, I could not find one source indicating that high levels of chronic stress were a good thing. Not one.

So yes, stress can be bad for you. Chronic stress and high levels of stress are definitely bad for you. So what can you (and I) do about it?

Three things constantly came up as I read about stress and its impact on the human mind and body as counters to stress.

• Exercise/movement.
• Healthy diet.
• Self-care.

Why exercise? “Exercise can improve the function of the HPA axis and in turn improve mood, decrease stress, and modulate anxiety. Yoga in particular may provide anxiety relief” (Over the Counter Anxiety Medication: What are the Best Options, K Health). As a person who exercises regularly (running, indoor cycling, strength, and the occasional yoga session), I understand all too well the things that make it difficult. Time, commitments, and even uncertainty about where to start were huge hurdles for me. The good news is that you can start with the things you already know how to do. Take a walk, research some stretches you can do right at your desk, or look up a bodyweight strength program. Doing something is better than doing nothing and we know exercise is a great way to decrease stress.

Why a healthy diet? When we’re stressed, we are much more likely to reach for the bag of Doritos, our favorite candy bar, or to order a large pizza and accompany it with our favorite adult beverage. All seemingly innocent things to do, and I would certainly be hypocritical if I told you I never “eat some feelings.” It becomes an issue when this is a typical or common response to stress. We already know that chronic stress can impact our weight, our heart, our central nervous system, and our mind. “A balanced diet can support a healthy immune system and the repair of damaged cells” (Stress and Health, Harvard School of Public Health). This is the stress recovery that Dr. Debar talked about.

Why self-care? “If you’re so stressed that you don’t have the time or energy to devote to self-care, that’s when you need replenishment the most!” (De-Stress, Amherst College). Self-care is a broad category but can include what we’ve already talked about (exercise and diet) in addition to other activities that help reduce your stress levels. Maybe it’s listening to your favorite band (Green Day!), spending time with friends, reading a good book, watching a feel good movie, or journaling. This is certainly not an exhaustive list, but each is a great place to start if you aren’t sure where to begin. Again, doing something is better than doing nothing.

Stress is our body using its natural fight or flight response. When we are experiencing chronic or long term stress, our body can be stuck in this mode. Following the steps above can go a long way in helping you with chronic stress.

I’m a believer in talk therapy and managing mental health. I have used talk therapy, medication, and other aspects of assistance available for mental health. While discussing mental health can still feel uncomfortable in the U.S., normalizing conversations about mental health is how we change that. Mental health can sometimes feel like an “other people” or “they” problem. Something that weaker people experience, but not me. Attitudes like that do nothing to advance the conversation around good mental health. If you know someone who could use some assistance, help them find proper resources in their area.

Sometimes a friendly gesture can save a life.

If you’re facing mental health struggles, emotional distress, alcohol or drug use concerns, or just need someone to talk to, 988 Lifeline is available to help. Call, text, or chat. You are not alone. https://988lifeline.org/

It’s Tuesday evening. You’ve just wrapped a day at work. Lots of meetings, you didn’t get everything done that you wanted to, but hey, that’s how it goes on Tuesdays. You tell yourself tomorrow will be better because you only have meetings in the afternoon. You arrive home to a sinkful of dishes, laundry piled up, and the inescapable feeling that you’re forgetting something.

Your intelligent and precocious daughter bounds into the room and gives you a big hug. “Are you excited for my school event tonight?”

There it is.

You smoothly cover it up, assuring her you’re excited while discreetly checking your phone, swearing there was nothing on the calendar. But sure enough, it’s right there. A school event at 6pm.

This evening is now dramatically different from the evening you had planned on your drive home from work. You change your clothes, throw something together for dinner, and head to the school. The event is a lot of fun and you feel yourself starting to relax. You did it. You made it through the day and you can picture yourself sitting on the couch in a comfy pair of sweatpants.

You return home and feel like the house is a bit cold. You check the thermostat and it reads 62 degrees. Well below the comfortable 70 degrees you have it set to.

“Yeah. That feels about right” you say quietly to yourself.

Your daughter tells you it’s cold in the house as you search your phone for an HVAC repair company. You brace yourself for a long and sleepless night reading online reviews. You know you have to call your boss in the morning to tell them you won’t be in.

Everything is always happening all the time.

Why does it feel like this? Is it cognitive dissonance? Is it a glitch in the Matrix?

I don’t know the answer. I know that’s frustrating because I’m sure you were hoping for something more profound. While I don’t know the reason life can sometimes feel like one swift kick in the nuts after another, I do know there are things you can do when it feels like this.

Evaluate. The days lost to meetings, forgotten important events, and real crises are all very real things. What has to be addressed right now and what can wait? Crisis management is all about prioritizing the most important things. In our story it might seem like it’s the furnace.

But is it?

Is the forecast predicting cold weather or is it warm enough where you could get by? Do you have options like space heaters? Maybe the sleepless night of review-scrolling can be avoided. Can you take the night and regroup in the morning? Do you have to take the day off work? This extra time might help you in more ways than you realize right away. Is there someone that can come to your house while the repair person is there so you don’t have to miss work?

We treat so many crises as emergencies because so often they are. Taking a little time to evaluate (especially if your day already has you primed) your options might make a bad situation a little easier to deal with.

Take stock. It might feel like everything is the worst, but it probably isn’t. Take stock of what’s going well, what’s making you happy, and what is abundant in your life. I’ve never been the type of person to tell someone that someone always has it worse, but reminding yourself of the good in your life can take some of the sting out of a seemingly never ending series of events.

Work the problem. We’ve all heard the famous quote from longtime NASA flight director Gene Kranz, memorialized in 1995’s Apollo 13; “failure is not an option.” Gene Kranz was trying to save the lives of three astronauts, hurtling through space in a crippled spacecraft following an explosion on their way to the moon. For Kranz, failure meant the deaths of three people and the possible shutdown of the entire Apollo space program.

Talk about pressure.

Perhaps what you’re dealing with is a matter of life or death. One set of problems is no worse nor better than another. A common human fallacy is placing levels of importance on problems. A problem is a problem and how we react and deal with those problems are entirely personal to us. It depends entirely on our individual life experience. Don’t waste time trying to decide if your problem is “worth” feeling stressed over. It is. There you go.

Now that you know your problem, work it. What is the outcome you need? Where are you now? How do you get from point A to point B with the resources at your disposal?

We know it’s going to feel like everything is happening all the time. We also know that it isn’t always going to feel that way.

How do you handle it when everything is happening all the time? Comment below and let’s talk.

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This powerful phrase can initiate so much in terms of caring, empathy, and sympathy but it’s thrown away at nearly every opportunity.

Pay attention the next time someone asks you how you’re doing. Is it asked as they walk past you? Is it asked as they are working on something or being attentive to their phone? Or is it asked with sincerity and with the expectation that you’ll answer honestly and openly?

I’d wager that more often than not, it’s lacking sincerity.

Asking a person how they are doing and then waiting kindly on a reply has the power to transform someone’s day. Someone’s week. Someone’s month.

Even someone’s life.

Human connection and compassion are critical components of our existence. Philanthropy News Digest tells us Americans feel there is a decline in empathy. On the contrary, Vox reports that compassion is on the rise. So while there may be conflicting data about what exactly is happening, ask yourself what your experience is. What do you see and feel on a day-to-day basis?

When I’m working with groups in conflict, individuals, leaders, or colleagues, I often say “there’s a way to be a person.” It’s a reminder that we can and should react and interact with our human side just a little bit more. Let’s be real, it’s tough out there and the world can be cold, cruel, and heartless.

But it can also be the opposite of all those things. It can be warm, kind, and filled with joy.

And it can all start with a genuine “how are you doing” from you to your fellow person.

Try it today. Let me know how it goes. I’m genuinely interested in how you are doing.